white elephant sighting!
“Into each life some rain must fall,” sings Ella Fitzgerald. “But someday the sun will shine.” Readers, that sunny day came for me when le domestique and I laid eyes on this:
Our joy was irrepressible, for we knew we had found the perfect kickoff offering for our White Elephant Consensual Re-gift Spectacular 2007. And now we would like to pass our sunshine on to you!
For your consideration, we have a dynamic mixed-media (foam and plastic) artwork. And it is a clock also! Which tells real time! And you may think the colorful googly-eyed sea creatures are purely decorative, but they sway to and fro in a happy ticktock motion for your entertainment, making telling time funner than ever! See, look, here I’m making it move with my finger, but you can make it move all by itself with a single AA battery.
May we share our good fortune with you? Just be the first person to say, “Heck yes, I want it!” in comments to this here post, privately send me your address (will not be sold to predatory lenders), and I’ll ship it to you gratis, postage paid and everything!
What do you gotta do in exchange? Just offer a similarly desirable white elephant re-gift on your own blog, paying the weirdness—or just unwantedness—forward. Christmas can go on forever—and without the really lame mall music!
C’mon, you know you want it, and if you’re fortunate enough to be a parental unit, you can blame your desire for it on your child. No one on the Interweb will be the wiser when you instead set it lovingly on your own bedside table.
Do not hesitate! Tell me you want it now!
Please.
December 26th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Hey yo–
You can just dis it. No need to actually claim it. Give it a shout down. Really. Tell it how fugly.
December 27th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Fugly indeed; however, I’m not entirely sure bryduck won’t want it for his bathroom. It’s colorful and goofy, two things that tend to appeal to him. ?
My white elephant gift this year was a bath gel/lotion/niceties set that is coconut-scented–bound to be headache-inducing if one goes around smelling coconut on oneself all the livelong day.
December 27th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I just spoke to the clock. Seeing as how 36 hours have now passed since it was so generously offered for TOTALLY FREE, it is feeling very much unwanted. If it languishes unclaimed much longer, I’ll have to pay for its therapy, and it’s not covered under my Kaiser plan.
YOU can still save it from developing crippling lifelong self-esteem issues, but you must act quickly. Won’t you extend your heart to a little clock in need?
December 27th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
This is, without doubt, one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen in clock form. My question is: why does the seahorse–which is the only animal present in this condition–not have googly eyes, but instead hipster shades? Did they run out of eyes, or is this some sort of comment on the strife present in the world today? I am confounded . . .
December 28th, 2007 at 7:54 am
I would really like to see it in motion.
December 28th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Damn. That is one fugly clock. Mmmmmmm-ok. I’ll take it! I claim the clock. Look at all these suckers who passed up the clock.
December 28th, 2007 at 8:36 am
Woo-hoo! Sold for nothin’ to Miss EB, who already has an AWESOME white elephant offering at http://www.emeraldpillows.org!
December 28th, 2007 at 10:09 am
[...] your door! Won’t you answer? She’s friendly. See her early efforts here and here and here. Somebody take the unclaimed [...]
December 28th, 2007 at 10:44 am
I haven’t yet seen the other white elephants, but I am glad eb jumped on this one cause I sorta heart it.
December 28th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Just for that, Max, you’re getting a special bonus gift with purchase! Actually, it’s something I was going to send to you anyway, so it’s handy that your girl claimed the WE and I can consolidate the two.
December 29th, 2007 at 3:53 am
Wow, that is truly awful. If only I had gotten here earlier to offer you one of my dad’s yearly Christmas Wooden Thing That Has No Discernible Function ™ gifts in exchange …
December 30th, 2007 at 8:36 am
Eleven comments in and still no takers? No wait, make that twelve…
Happy New Year!:)
December 30th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Drat! What a shame we
threw outrepurposed a little treasure we liked to call The Carousel of Death a few years ago. It was a wedding present made out of sheet copper, featuring a little carnival scene that was animated by a music box. When the carousel revolved, the Ferris Wheel did too, but the little swinging seats would hit the edge of the canopy and whirl around, and we imagined the tiny fairgoers being plunged to their deaths… yes, this was a wedding present.What this present needs is a LOLephant!
December 30th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Uhmm..
I like the fart machine, myself.
Happy New Year & I enjoy your blog!